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Why Emotional Intelligence Matters
We’re always told to be smart, to hustle, to figure things out. But rarely are we taught what to do with our actual emotions in the process. Emotional intelligence is the quiet skill set that changes everything. It helps you slow down, listen to yourself, and respond with intention instead of reaction. And in my experience, it has become one of the most life-changing tools in my personal growth journey.
How I Discovered My Emotional Superpower
Before I ever called it a superpower, emotional intelligence showed up in my life as a quiet shift. I took a year-long course to become an empowerment coach. I thought I would come out of it with a business plan, but what I actually walked away with was something deeper. I began to understand my emotions and how they were shaping my life.
More Than Just Naming Your Feelings
That program taught me how to feel my feelings, not just name them and move on. I realized I was living with emotions like shame and grief on a daily basis and never questioned it. I learned that each emotion holds a certain energetic weight. And while I don’t get too spiritual in these conversations, I know we’ve all felt the lightness of joy, love, and pleasure in our bodies—just like we’ve felt the heaviness of anger, guilt, or fear. These are real, lived emotional states, and they affect how we think, act, and connect.
Emotions Exist on a Spectrum
The more I studied, the more I understood that emotions exist on a spectrum. For every heavy feeling, there is a lighter one that can be reached through awareness and aligned action. One of the biggest lessons I had to learn was around abundance. I grew up around extremely frugal family members. The message was always to hold on, be cautious, and never let anything go. As an adult, I felt myself clinging to things—money, safety, beliefs. I had to learn how to let go, not just of things but of the emotional weight that came with them.
Emotional Intelligence Improves Every Relationship
That is the beauty of emotional intelligence. When you can recognize emotional patterns in yourself, you become better at recognizing them in others. You listen better. You show up more present in conversations. You create space for people to be honest, including yourself. That kind of emotional awareness helps you lead, parent, love, and live with more softness and strength at the same time.
It’s Not About Perfection – It’s About Presence
This isn’t about being stoic or perfect. It’s about being willing to pause and ask, “What am I really feeling right now?” It’s about learning to check in instead of shut down. It’s about building the kind of self-awareness that leads to freedom—not control, not suppression, but presence.
Want to Go Deeper? Start Here
If you’re ready to explore this more deeply, here are some books that helped me understand emotional intelligence from multiple angles…emotional, scientific, and spiritual.
📘 The Map of Consciousness by David R. Hawkins
This book explores how every emotion carries an energetic frequency and how we can raise our vibration by recognizing and transcending lower emotional states like guilt, fear, or shame. It helped me understand that feelings aren’t fixed—they’re fluid and moveable with awareness and intention. (This was a reading requirement in my empowerment coach program)
📗 Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
Brené breaks down over 80 different human emotions and experiences with clarity and warmth. This book gave me the language to describe complex feelings and reminded me that emotional literacy is a key to connection, healing, and empathy.
📙 Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett
This is a powerful guide for those who’ve been taught to numb, ignore, or hide emotions. It combines science and storytelling to show how emotional intelligence can be taught and practiced at any age—and how it transforms relationships and performance.
📕 You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
A softer, spiritual take on how our thoughts and emotions shape our physical and emotional well-being. This book was one of the first that taught me the power of affirmations and the deep connection between mindset and healing.
📘 Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
A foundational book in the field, this one dives into the science behind EQ. Goleman explains why emotional intelligence often matters more than IQ in personal success, leadership, and mental health.
📔 The Emotionally Healthy Woman by Geri Scazzero
For women who have been strong for too long or taught to stay small, this book is a reminder that emotional health is spiritual work too. It gave me language for boundaries, emotional honesty, and the courage to release roles that no longer serve me.
Finals Thoughts
Emotional intelligence is your superpower because it puts you back in the driver’s seat of your own experience. Not everything will feel good, but when you can name it and work with it, you’re not stuck in it. You are learning to move through it with grace, and that’s where your true strength lives.
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